Yoga Teacher Tips: How to Discuss Yoga With People Who Have Had a Negative Yoga Experience

Yoga Teacher Tips: How to Discuss Yoga With People Who Have Had a Negative Yoga Experience

My daughter is a college student.  She has been in and out of yoga classes her entire life, not only mine but also other instructors who taught at my studio.  She has attended yoga classes with me at other studios and she understands very well that yoga teachers and their offerings vary greatly.

Last night, she called me to tell me that she and a few friends went to take a "gentle flow" class on campus.  When the class began, the instructor casually asked if anyone had anything specific they wanted to work on.  Nobody commented and the instructor took them through fifteen sun salutations and peaked with an arm balance.  While my daughter did not mind the vigorous flow, it was her friend's first yoga class.  Her friend left feeling disappointed, discouraged and insufficient.

As Yoga Teachers, We Want to Offer Good Experiences

As a yoga teacher, this is not the way we want people to feel when they leave our yoga class.  The experience that my daughter and her friend had in a yoga class triggered many thoughts and I began going down memory lane, revisiting conversations I have had in the past.   I tried yoga once, but I wasn't good at it.  I don't like yoga, I went to a a class before.  I'm not flexible enough for yoga.  Yoga is boring.  Yoga isn't fast enough for me.  Yoga is too fast for me.  I've heard it all, and over the years I have learned how to respond in a way that is genuine, encouraging and informative.

How Do We Respond As Yoga Teachers When Potential Students Tell Us They Don't Like Yoga or Can't Do Yoga?

We have a responsibility as yoga teachers to represent yoga authentically to our students and others, which of course does not mean that we should be little yoga missionaries, pounding the pavement and heavily recruiting unwilling participants to come to our yoga classes.  It means rather that we should encourage and educate those who show even the mildest interest in yoga.  How do we do that when we are interacting with people who believe that yoga is not for them?

We have a responsibility as yoga teachers to represent yoga authentically to our students and others, which of course does not mean that we should be little yoga missionaries, pounding the pavement and heavily recruiting unwilling participants to come to our yoga classes

What Kind of Yoga Class Did They Take When They Had a Bad Experience?

First of all, there are more styles of yoga than flavors of ice cream.  Just because one style of yoga does not resonate with someone certainly doesn't mean that other styles wouldn't.  When someone tells me that they tried yoga and did not like it, I immediately ask them what style yoga they took.  Normally, they don't know, but they can likely describe what they did.  Finding out what style class the student took that they didn't like can give us some insight into how we may be able to make a useful suggestion.

There Are Many Styles of Yoga

Why Didn't They Like Yoga When They Tried It?

Once we find out what they didn't like, we have to find out why they didn't like it.  Usually, within their description of the class, I can determine what they didn't like about it. This enables me to investigate other styles of yoga that might be more appropriate. We did a lot of planks and repeated something like a tricep push up, moving really fast.  I didn't feel safe.  It sounds like a vinyasa or maybe power flow class.  I wonder if you would enjoy a beginner's series.  I was so bored, we sat there forever while the teacher was talking and I don't like meditation.  It was hard to be still.  You might enjoy a power flow.  I went to a beginner's class but I didn't like it. The teacher gave a lot of instructions.  She was talking constantly and it was too much to remember.  I thought yoga was relaxing.  I would love to invite you to a restorative yoga class.

Yoga Teachers Have Different Teaching Styles That Are Not Appropriate for Every Student

Let's not forget that the teacher plays a big role in the student's experience, and the teacher may not have been a good fit for the student. This is not to say that the teacher isn't an excellent teacher.  The teacher could have possessed all of the qualities that yoga teachers aspire to embody and still not resonate with this particular student. There are different learning styles and different teaching styles. Yoga teachers and yoga students are all human beings with their own individual histories, perspectives, experiences and worldviews.  Everyone has their own preferences and individual personality.

There are teachers who keep their classes very light-hearted and then there are those who are more no-nonsense and cultivate a meditative environment throughout practice.  There are students who seek classes that are playful, fun and have a humorous element and then there are other students who want a serious class environment that emphasizes alignment.  Imagine the disappointment a beginner would feel who expected one extreme and walked into the other. 

There Are Many Teaching Styles for Yoga Teachers

Helping Students Manage Expectations of Themselves as a Yoga Teacher

Ultimately, it's a matter of managing expectations.  It can be very helpful for beginners to know what to expect prior to attending their first yoga class. People come to a yoga class with all kinds of expectations... there are expectations about the style of yoga, the level of difficulty, the level of relaxation, the yoga teacher, the atmosphere of the class and most importantly, people come with expectations of themselves.  Most people do not come to their first yoga practice with a sense of self-acceptance but rather with a case of the "I should's."  I should be able to meditate.  I should be able to mirror others in the room in yoga poses.  I should be more flexible.  I should be stronger.

All of these expectations that people place on themselves lead to disappointment.  The disappointment creates a negative experience for the student and the student often decides that he or she does not like yoga, is not good at yoga or does not wish to practice yoga again.  Quite often, this is where we meet people as yoga teachers and we are faced with choices about how to respond to their negative experience.

Over time, I learned that these are the people who I need to be speaking with the most.  As a yoga teacher, I am an ambassador of yoga and take pleasure in sharing the sacred practice and its many benefits with others.  

In the beginning, I tried my best to avoid these people and kept my fingers crossed that they would not show up in my conversations with others, spreading their "negative energy" as I discussed the healing powers of yoga with like-minded people.  Over time, I learned that these are the people who I need to be speaking with the most.  As a yoga teacher, I am an ambassador of yoga and take pleasure in sharing the sacred practice and its many benefits with others.  If someone has had a negative experience on a yoga mat, I want to find out what went wrong and offer to connect them with a better yogic experience.

Connecting People Who Have Had a Negative Experience in a Yoga Class With a More Positive Yogic Experience

Sharing a page with you out of my yoga teacher playbook, when someone tells me they cannot do yoga, do not like yoga or are not good at yoga, I follow the same protocol every time:

1. I find out what style yoga class they have taken;
2. I find out what they did not like about the yoga class(es) that they have taken;
3. I listen for any disappointments that stem from expectations about the yoga teacher, expectations about the yoga class or expectations about themselves;
4. I respond accordingly, offering information and invitation.

If someone has taken a class that is vastly different from what they were looking for, we can easily respond and suggest a different style, explaining the benefits of the suggested style.  "It sounds like you went to an Ashtanga class.  Have you considered a beginner's class with an emphasis on alignment and learning the foundations of yoga?"

When you are speaking with someone who was disappointed in their yoga experience because they did not connect with the teacher or because they did not meet their expectations of themselves, the conversation becomes much more delicate.  As yoga teachers, we of course never speak badly of other yoga teachers and we understand that there are many unique personalities and teaching styles and our differences are what makes the world a beautiful place.  It's perfectly acceptable to suggest to someone that maybe a different instructor would provide a completely different experience.  

Sometimes, it can be helpful to point out the obvious when someone expresses that they have not met their own expectations.  I'm not flexible enough for yoga.  "Saying you are not flexible enough for yoga is like saying you are not clean enough to take a shower.  One of the reasons we practice yoga is to improve flexibility and increase self-acceptance."  I'm not good at yoga.  "Yoga is for everyone.  The goal is not that everyone would look the same in the yoga pose but that we all modify the pose to make it work for our own individual bodies."  

As yoga teachers, we can respect the boundaries of others while still gently offering a perspective that maybe they have not considered before.  By listening with love and compassion when someone is sharing a negative experience that they have had in a yoga class, we are creating an opportunity to educate and inspire.  

As yoga teachers, we can respect the boundaries of others while still gently offering a perspective that maybe they have not considered before.  By listening with love and compassion when someone is sharing a negative experience that they have had in a yoga class, we are creating an opportunity to educate and inspire.  Our work as yoga teachers is not limited to yoga classes, we are always living our yoga and functioning in the capacity of educators.  

Namaste, friends.  

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